The summer is over and it’s almost cuffing season (time to find a significant other), so let’s talk about relationships – how men and women think/react once they’ve gone separate ways. The trending topic that has taken social media by storm, with many women tweeting that they’ve had their time wasted by someone who they thought was “the one.” In many of these cases, the women ended up putting in a lot of time but having nothing to show for it in the end, as things eventually faded away. Women have united on the trend, a few even trolling with the hashtag #wastehistime2016. In an attempt to give men a dose of their own medicine that they’ve given women. But, before diving deeper into this, I must state that my last name may be Harvey but there won’t be any tips on how to see if your guy friend is really into you, this isn’t “Think Like A Man”
This hashtag gives us all a laugh, as some show how far they would go to seek revenge after they’ve been let down so many times.
The recent trend of this hashtag brings me to wonder, how does their time get wasted? How can someone be fooled time and time again? Did the guy intentionally waste her time or were the expectations too high on one end (female) and too complacent on the other (male)?
Let’s use an example: A guy and girl get together and begin to hangout (or link as the kids say). During that time, they begin to ask questions back and forth to “get a feel for one another.” This is called the application stage. Similar to an interview, where you start to speak highly of yourself to win the job (dating the other). He’s perfect right? From there, we have the background check, this takes place as soon as the first meet up is over, the female begins to ask the group chat (usually a group of 3-5 females in a text thread) what do they know about him, who he’s been with, etc. Once that clears, they proceed with more meet ups and dates.
Before you know it sparks begin to fly, the two are seeing each other on a consistent basis, having sleepovers, texting all day every day, and, you know, getting attached. This is called the honeymoon stage: still within the first 90 days and everything seems perfect. A few more months have gone by and the two haven’t actually talked about plans of going forward (an actual relationship). The woman begins to believe they are heading towards a title but never mentioned it to the guy. He On the other hand, is fine with things as they are. The female hasn’t shown that she doesn’t like the current state of the relationship or wants anything different, so he continues with the regular routine. This goes along with the classic statement, if it’s not broke don’t fix it.
Soon after the woman begins to speak on taking things forward, pressuring the man to agree to an official title (boyfriend/girlfriend). The man has long assumed that things are just fine, but she goes back to her friends and they tell her to end things because he’s…. you guessed it….wasting her time. In reality it can’t be the man’s fault that he stayed course with “kicking it” and sleeping over. The conversation of what the two wanted going forward was nonexistent once they began to get more comfortable with each other and eventually began to have casual sex.
So with all this being said, if you are currently involved with someone or just starting out, have “the conversation” when the thought of him being “the one” begins to form. Find out if that’s what he wants once you have established a connection before going on a social media rant about time being wasted. Of course there are guys who are up to no good, but this will help separate those. If you ignore this and continue on without “the talk”, there’s only one thing left to say.
Congratulations, you played yourself by wasting your own time.